Mar26

Frat Boy At the Movies: I Love You, Man

by tonyd on March 26, 2009 at 1:40 am

Paul Rudd and Jason Segel star in this slice-of-life comedy about a groom to be that has to learn to be more manly.  But it’s not a two dimensional as I’m describing.  Hollywood has a little mini-revival with this comedies that are just about slightly odd characters going through a major stage of life (Knocked Up, Forgetting Sarah Marshal, Superbad, etc.).

The great thing about these movies is that there’s always something there to connect with the audience and the stakes are nice and low.  (Well, as compared to say, Race to Witch Mountain.)  The low start gives the comedy and the characters some place to go.  And it doesn’t hurt that a slew of 2nd tier up and comers from Reno 911, The State, the Daily Show and Shutterbugs show up in the supporting roles.  (If you haven’t seen Shutterbugs, it’s online and its awesome.)

Rudd is a real estate guy about to get married.  He wants to find a best man, but doesn’t have any close guy friends he can ask.  After trying and failing to find a new best friend, Rudd eventually meets Segel at an open house.  Segal is stealing food and hitting on divoree’s.  The movie starts a little slow, but then takes off as Rudd bonds with Segel and learns to be more manly and then eventually chafes under his obnoxiousness.  It comes to a climax that is within the realm of possibility, but without being overly cheeses.  It’s a movie for audiences that already get it and have seen cheesy endings a thousand times.  It’s formulaic, but in the good way.  (C’mon, it’s not like you want to see everyone murdered at the end.)  Rudd’s on a roll after Role Models and Segel’s awesome Forgetting Sarah Marshal was great too.  This movie doesn’t quite live up to those movies, but is still worth your time.

I give this movie 7 keggers out of 10.

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Mar25

Twitter In Focus: Wil Wheaton

by tonyd on March 25, 2009 at 1:08 am

Welcome bros, to another installment of Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die.  This week we take a look at one of my favorite internet inhabitants, Wil Wheaton, self-proclaim geek and former Wesley Crusher on Star Trek.

March 19th, 1:49pm: “Really? Nobody gets the “food on your family” reference? I didn’t think it was that obscure. Heh. Go me. Anyway, here: http://is.gd/o3tZ”

Right away, we see here that Wil twitters alot.  So much so that he doesn’t even need to address specific people.  He’s twittering back that fast.  Plus, that’s a good link.  He’s a top flight nerd.

March 19th, 1:56pm: “@chgowiz I love that you’re wearing my shirt, but I *really* love the 1st ed. AD&D Player’s Handbook! (Context: http://is.gd/o3yk)”

Major nerd cred bro.  1st edition D&D book reference.    This is the shirt Wil designed that he’s referring to.

Nice!  This made my 7th level Paladin laugh!

March 20th, 12:02am: “@levarburton did you know we were reunited on a game show again? I hear we were part of an answer on Jeopardy last night! Go us! Score!”

The two youngest guys from the Enterprise on Twitter, that makes sense.  Patrick Stewart’s probably still more into something older, like pen pals.  Although, wait a minute, let’s see if he twitters.  (one search later)  No, but some guy is holding his spot apparently.   What’s he hope to do I wonder?  Get cash?  A ride on the Enterprise?  Some imaginary rank?

March 20th, 11:46am: “D&D wrap up post on my blog: some thoughts and lessons learned from behind the dm screen. http://is.gd/ocMC”

Wow, teaching your son D&D.  Wil is a cool dad for a nerd.  (Look, I can call people nerds if I want.  As you all know, I have major NERD CRED as well.  Don’t forget, I rewrote the monster manuals for Hackmaster.) How is fourth edition, Wil?  Still haven’t gotten around to trying it.  (Loss of nerd cred.)

March 20th, 1:06pm: “New post on my blog: a few thoughts and lessons learned from behind the dm screen http://tinyurl.com/c8zmn7″

Most of what I learned about D&D is that some of the players are way too into weapons.

March 20th, 3:01pm: “@Jerko Yeah, that’s the place, next to Tujunga canyon road, by the bank. We used to go to a drugstore in that strip mall to get Wacky Packs.”

Wacky Packs were the shit back in the day, Wil!  I have an uncut sheet framed in my office.  Gum and comedy all in one pack.  What happened to those days, Wil?

March 20th, 3:53pm: “If you’ve been inspired by my D&D posts to try the game yourself, tomorrow is Worldwide D&D Game Day: http://is.gd/lh7h”

Wil that’s just Hallmark scheme to sell Worldwide D&D Game Day greeting cards and candy.  Don’t let it ruin the holiday for you and commercialize.  We all know what its really about, the birth of our saviour, Gary Gygax.

March 20th, 3:58pm: “Well, it’s been a full week and casting hasn’t returned any of our calls. It’s safe to say that they’re not calling me back for that pilot.”

Dude!  That sucks!  I could totally see you and Levar Burton with your own detective show in the Star Trek Universe.  Also, maybe more auditions and less twittering.  Just a suggestion.

March 20th, 4:03pm: “New post on my blog: some cool sunken treasure news http://tinyurl.com/cl8ssp”

My God, Wil, you’re a relentless twitterer.  Take a breather and update your facebook page, will ya?

March 20th, 4:32pm: “If I ever meet the guy who designed Rainbow Road in MarioKart DS, I’m going to ask him why he hates us all so much.”

Turn your TV to black and whtie and it won’t hurt the eyes so much.

March 20th, 4:50pm: “I may have to take myself offline for several days, until I get caught up on BSG. I’m still about 15 eps. behind and fear teh spoilers.”

Lorne Greene dies at the end.  There, I ruined it for you.

March 23rd, 12:47am: “Morning Becomes Eclectic is really good today.”

Listening to music Wil?  I’ll just assume it’s about rolling dice and living in your parents’ basement.

March 23rd, 1:52pm: “By hook or by crook, you need to find and listen to Theresa Anderson, especially the track “Birds Fly Away.” Go now! Quick! Doo eet!”

Look, if you make all your nerd followers listen to cool music, they’ll get girlfriends, leave the internet and stop buying your shirts.  Don’t shoot yourself in the foot, buddy.

March 23rd, 2:29pm: “If you were wondering, I’ve been working on another Crazy Idea. This one is unlike anything I’ve ever done.”

If it’s anything like that poster, it’s going to be awesome.

March 23rd, 2:34pm: “New post on my blog: theresa andersson is phenomenal http://tinyurl.com/dmh2yf”

She a one-woman band dynamo, this is true.

March 23rd, 4:21pm: “It’s another day where I spent so much time writing and creating, I forgot to eat. I need to start leaving myself notes.”

No, that’s good.  Gotta stay skinny and in shape.  You need to buff up, bro.  Take acting jobs away from Brendan Fraser.  If you don’t, he’ll just make another Mummy movie.

March 23rd, 6:57pm: “Took a break, watched the most recent DOLLHOUSE on DVR. I *knew* Joss was going to do something awesome with this show.”

Really?  Did he somehow weave the story into a Buffy episode?

22 hours ago: “New post on my blog: Books I Love: A Saucerful of Secrets http://tinyurl.com/cfuf4q”

Music nerd cred.

22 hours ago: “My shirt.woot participated in Operation Cookie Drop. That’s 21K cookies for soldiers overseas. So awesome! http://is.gd/oDvf”

I don’t know how many cookies soldiers can eat in 100 degree heat.  I’d send them beer, but I’m sure they appreciate the cookies.

21 hours ago: “I know it’s just preseason, but dammit, a loss to the hated Angels of We Hope Nobody Realizes We’re Actually In Orange County still stings.”

Jeez, Wil, negative nerd cred.  Well, I suppose you have enough built up.  C’mon, talk about it in code next time.  Angels=orcs and Orange County=Mordor.

21 hours ago: “There are few things I enjoy as much as non-serious trash talking about professional sports. Thanks for the lulz, Angels fans. GO BLUE!”

Sports nerd cred.

10 hours ago: “New post on my blog: Books I Love: The Hacker Crackdown http://tinyurl.com/c3myqm”

Computer nerd cred.

6 hours ago: “Boy, Ziggy really *could* play guitar, couldn’t he?”

I read Ziggy every week and I have never seen him play a musical instrument at all.

3 hours ago: “Having lunch with @ShaneNickerson. Cleverly coordinating tweets. This is only funny to us. Shane has more characters left than me. He wins.”

Twitter nerd cred.  That’s the saddest nerd cred of all.

16 minutes ago:  “If I had a million dollars, I would open the greatest 80s retrocade in the world right here in Pasadena. This is my dream.”

Dude!  You don’t have a million dollars from being on Star Trek!  Did you blow it all on gold-plated D&D dice and character sheets made from cocaine?!  Or were you playing a different game?

Less than a minute ago:  “@OGbigMoneyMIKE I loved PakkMan arcade, and went there all the time before it closed. Good thing there’s a fucking RUG SHOP there now.”

Thank God, when would you have time to twitter?

Okay, Wil, you twittered 8 times in the time it took me to write this.  Bro, we want to see you in more movies and TV!  Put down the blackberry and get acting!  I love D&D dude, but my games always peaked when my friends were out of work.   That retrocade is just one new TV series away, dude.  I got it all in my head, you, Levar and a half robot monkey solve mysteries in a post apocalyptic future world where savage nerds rule the wasteland.  Think about it, it has legs.

Okay, I have to give will a 10 for Mustness, he always has a cool link or something on his twitter, a 7 for insanity (you’re on here way too much bro) and finally a 10 for Style (he’s nerd!  He’s proud!).  That’s an overall score of 9.  If you’re not following Wil Wheaton, you’re a bastard.  C’mon, follow Wil.  It’s the closest thing he has to a TV show right now.

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Mar22

Frat Boy At the Movies: Duplicity

by tonyd on March 22, 2009 at 11:59 pm

Clive Owen and Julia Roberts star as two spies that decide to steal $40 million dollars.  At the end of Duplicity, I had felt that I had been duped.

This is a rare case when a movie goes wrong and I don’t have lots to say about it.  It’s missing two elements:  1) Almost nothing clever really happens in the movie.  The scam involves a bunch of double crossing and not-very-clever trickery that depends upon knowledge of surveillance, which is virtually invisible.  2)  The characters are unlikeable.  Clive and Julia decide to steal the money because, well, they want it.  And, they actually have good jobs prior to that.  So it’s a little hard to get on board with their voracious greed.

Paul Giamatti does his standard tightly wound guy and Tom Wilkinson is barely in the movie.  Director Tony Gilroy, who wrote Michael Clayton and The Bourne Ultimatum, just drops the ball here.  Maybe his stars insisted on editing out all the cool stuff or something, I don’t know.  It just seems to me, that if you’re gonna make a movie about two very greedy people, they should crazily greedy and a bit quirky.  Clive and Julia may be good looking, but in this movie, they are actually kind of boring.  Scene after scene centers around them having sex and their mutual obsession with each other.  After a while, it’s just annoying and neither character has any depth beyond that.  And, I’m sorry, I just don’t buy Julia Roberts as a CIA agent.  In other movies, yeah, sure, but not in this one.  The whole piece just feels rushed.

I give Duplicity 3 keggers out of 10.  If you can see it on cable for nothing and you have 90 minutes to kill, you might be able to sit through this.   The movie is probably destined to be shown on airlines.

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Mar15

Frat Boy At the Movies: Race to Witch Mountain

by tonyd on March 15, 2009 at 12:30 am

Dwayne Johnson, you owe me $18.  Race to Witch Mountain is such a God-awful remake devoid of any kind of character or humanity, I suspect that director Andy Fickman probably spent most of his time asleep in his director’s chair.  Holy shit, where do I begin?

First off, I read the original novel by Alexander Key, so I am probably biased toward the original story.  But I have to say, even that wasn’t all that good to begin with.  And it’s not like I’m bitching that Disney ruined it by turning it into a movie.  It’s just that nothing much makes sense in the movie.

Okay, spoiler warning, but trust me, read this.  I’m doing you a favor.  The Rock plays Jack Bruno, a down and out thug, turned cab driver.  Fickman or possibly the screenwriters, Matt Lopez and Mark Bomback, squander what little time they give themselves for character development.  Bruno has a crummy life.  He’s annoyed by the nerds who have come to Las Vegas for the UFO convention and he lives in a crappy hotel room where all he does is punch a bag and stare at his poster for the movie Bullitt.   Bullitt, of course, is so far above this cinematic turd, one wonders if the makers actually saw it or merely copped the idea because they thought the car looked cool in Deathproof.

Jack is being harrassed by two BIGGER thugs and a mob boss called “Mr. Wolf”.  (Not that you will ever get to see or hear that character.)  Apparently, Jack’s gone straight and doesn’t want to work for the gangster anymore, but the thugs harrass him anyway EVEN THOUGH JACK DOESN’T OWE MR. WOLF ANY MONEY.  Retarded.  What kind of gangster harrasses thugs and has them beaten up just because they won’t work for him?  But the first of many timely interventions saves Jack and he is able to get away.  Of course, the thugs threaten to kill him, but that doesn’t seem to worry Jack.  Oh, no, they’ll be car chase a-plenty to distract you from any kind of logic.

Suddenly, Jack has two weird kids in his cab with lots of money.  They need to get “somewhere”.  Seth and Sarah are weird because they call Jack “Jack Bruno” instead of just Jack and speak in hackneyed alien-speak that would make the writers of the Coneheads blush.  The kids are being pursued by our evil government, represented by Agent Burke and his hapless henchmen and unlimited Homeland Security budget.  Burke has lots of guns, but never tells his guys to just shoot Jack and end this nightmare.

Jack eludes Burke and his goons with the help of the kids’ superpowers.  Which leads you to ask, if the kids have superpowers, why do they need Jack?  Why don’t they just steal a car?  Jack delivers them to an old cabin and gets paid a 500% tip.  Now the kids try to give him the money at least twice.  It’s clear they don’t care about the money and it’s established that the aliens, for some unknown reason, stole the money from an ATM.  Jack has no reason not to take the money, especially after his cab has been wrecked and the kids lead him out in the desert.  But Jack suddenly decides he’s gotten too much loot, EVEN THOUGH IT’S CLEAR TO ANYONE WATCHING THEY GAVE HIM TOO MUCH MONEY WHEN THEY GOT OUT OF THE CAR!  Ahhh!  (This movie makes me mad.)

Jack gets out of the car, hears a noise and runs to the kids’ rescue.  Seth clearly doesn’t want Jack around.  They know someone or something is pursuing them.  Seth says he doesn’t trust Jack.  So what does he do?  He opens a secret passage in the cabin to find their incredibly secret thing that they need to leave the planet.  And Jack just tails along.

They are followed by the incredibly powerful evil alien that wants to kill them, but for some reason, he has to be sneaky.  He has The Rock in his sights in the cabin in the dark, but he decides it would be better to wait and attack him out in the open in a big room inside the cabin.  While the kids get their secret thing, Jack battles the indestructible guy.  But the evil alien assassin is lame at his one thing, which is to KILL.  Instead of just shooting Jack, he throws him into a tree so he can recover and get thrown into a tree again.  Again, the kids save the day with their superpowers, so why do they need Jack?

I can’t go through any more of this suck fest.  Only I have to mention, that at the end of the movie when they get back in their ship, it works.  There is never any explanation of why the ship crashed in the first place and its clear no one repaired it.   And also, Dwayne Johnson’s acting was passable in a few movies, but here he’s completely over his head.  His takes are way off the mark and everyone around him must act twice as hard to hide it.

Instead of talking about this movie any more, let me give you a list of better movies you should rent instead:  Bullitt (of course) and some movies where aliens are running from the law:  Brother From Another Planet, The Transformers, E.T., Galaxy Quest, Cocoon, The Hidden, Men in Black, Invasion of the Body Snatchers, Close Encounters and, if you love video games, Destroy All Humans I and II.  Trust me, your money is better served renting one of these.

I give Race to Witch Mountain 2 kegs out of 10, simply because the action sequences and special effects looks slick, even if the plot has holes as big as stars.  If you want your kids to stare at a bright shiny thing for 90 minutes, it’s either this or a bug zapper.

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