Super Frat

Hello, bros!  Welcome to Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die.  Well, you knew it eventually would have to come to this.  Yes, bros, it’s time to look at Ashton’s tweets.  I’ve always been a fan of his from his days on That 70’s Show and Dude, Where’s My Car?.  (Do more comedies Ashton!)  His twitter following is the biggest, but are his tweets the best?  Let’s find out.

December 11th, 9:28am: “happy holiday season to you and your family = http://bit.ly/8wecrZ”

Jeez, those kids can sing.

December 11th, 10:38am: “classic http://bit.ly/4nbJe7”

Mrs. Ronald Regan?  Why don’t you let the son of the Vice President visit with Mr. T?  Little George W. Bush looks mad over there.  I hope he don’t grow up, become president and wreck the country because he didn’t get to meet Mr. T!

December 11th, 5:15pm:  “happy holidays, drew! RT @drew: In case you missed it: Greatest. Voicemail. Ever. http://bit.ly/6SQicI (Screw you Cancer!)”

Plus he won the lottery and ran over Osama Bin Laden on the way back from the doctor’s.

December 11th, 5:26pm: “digging out of this storm is going to be intense – http://bit.ly/6HhsJr”

How dare the storm open the doors and fill his car with snow.

December 12th, 7:11am: “don’t you hate it when your computer freezes http://bit.ly/8b4RfU”

Yes, yes I do.

December 12th, 4:43pm: “omg this is nuts http://bit.ly/6EqF1i”

That is pretty sick.  Sick in the “that’s pretty cool, bro” way, not “fish guts raining on a baby” way.

December 12th, 6:59pm: “do not try this at home http://bit.ly/8oAHCt”

Unless your home is on the roof and it’s on fire.

December 12th, 8:25pm: “Quickest way to fail while Christmas shopping… Stop at Umami burger”

Umami sounds pretentious, but looks pretty yummy.  You should just buy burgers for Christmas.  Problem solved.

December 12th, 8:33pm: “Best burger in LA hands down. http://twitpic.com/ta6m5”

Better than Fat Burger?  Than In and Out?  I dunno, Ashton, thems fightin’ words in L.A.  Plus, you West Coasters have no cheesesteaks worth to speak of.

December 13th, 12:12am: “Sean Parker and Ron Conway charity competition http://bit.ly/75I2y1 Team Parker = http://bit.ly/4YsOB1 Team Conway = http://bit.ly/4Smh3T”

You must be filled with the holiday spirit, Ashton.  You use your Twitter for the Light Side of the Force.

December 13th, 6:30am: “reinventing the wheel http://bit.ly/82wvxw”

Dude, you want some really funny links, try this Fail Blog.

December 13th, 1:03pm: “Spread is now available on itunes http://bit.ly/7HZxPX”

Nice.   But seriously, more comedy.

December 13th, 3:16pm: “Watched Precious last night. It was amazing but I won’t be watching it again. Painful viewing experience.”

I felt the same way about 2012.

December 13th, 6:21pm: “Stephen King to pay for troops’ holiday trip home http://bit.ly/5XyQ6b”

But it’s a haunted plane!  Wooooooo!

December 13th, 11:23pm: “I have a very serious meeting w/ Mike “The Situation” Pauly-D & Snookie 2morrow. They R teachin me how 2 B a Guido #jerseyshore”

Really?  They’re giving you asshole lessons?  Just take off your shirt a lot and be an obnoxious prick. Where were those guys when this happened?

December 13th, 11:37pm: “they are bringing shirts and hair gel. I’m gonna get Mike The Situation to give me a new ab workout”

December 14th, 9:58am: “very cool RT @avneron: pretty clear advertisers will take over this medium. Projection on Buildings on Boxee. http://bit.ly/66ahtA”

Neat.

December 14th, 10:03am: “if bob says so RT @RedHourBen: “RETWEET IT remix” from me & DeNiro http://tiny.cc/stiller (remixed by @douggpound) #STILLERSTRONG”

See? Bob don’t need no hair gel and ab crunches. Forget North Jersey, South Jersey is the place to go, bro. Especially Chef Vola’s.

December 14th, 10:37am: “A funny email from my Bro in Law worthy of a blog post Bad Parenting http://bit.ly/7lkW7E”

Ha! Nice. Reminds me of People of Walmart.

24 hours ago: “we are taking @katalysthq LIVE on Wednesday at 5:00 p.m. PT . . . catch up on the full season at http://bit.ly/cxOg8”

The future of TV, bros. All Internet.

15 hours ago: “at @katalysthq chatting it up with friends from Jersey Shore http://bit.ly/6sprke”

Got through about 20 seconds before I wanted to shoot myself. Worse than a knitting needle pressed through my eyeball.

14 hours ago: “more information about our LIVE @katalysthq episode http://bit.ly/7Cosis catch up on the season http://bit.ly/cxOg8”

The live link didn’t work and the second link is the same one. Well, you’re probably still shaking out the bugs.

11 hours ago: “lol RT @rhettmc: Tis the season to dress up like old rednecks playing Santa and an elf talking about prostates…wow: http://bit.ly/72B6PJ”

Nice.

Okay, time to rate Ashton’s Twitter. Insanity, I give a 4, he’s pretty mellow. On Mustness, I give an 8, definitely has up to minute tweets, plenty of links. Finally, Style, gotta go with 10. He’s always posting charity stuff. That’s using the power for good, bros. That’s an overall score of 7.3. Worth a follow, assuming you’re one of the four people on twitter that still don’t. And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us here.