Bros, welcome to another edition of Twitter in Focus, where media comes to die! I gotta say, bros, I love the ladies with the tattoos and the punk hair! This week’s contestant, burlesque star, Kira Von Sutra, the Green Queen. Grrrowl!
April 25th, 11:26pm: “Deke Dickerson playin the Mercury lounge Tulsa.”
Nice. Not much of a country music fan myself, but Deke’s stuff is pretty cool.
April 26th, 2:10pm: “Holy fuck I got smashed last night.”
Tattoos + green hair + good taste in music + hot bod + likes to drink = party time.
April 26th, 2:40pm: “Woke up in nothing but my gloves. Haha. Fucking tequila!”
Wow and she has sex with liquor. She’s wild! But seriously, what were you doing with your hands that you weren’t doing with the rest of your body that you needed gloves? Never mind, let me imagine.
April 26th, 6:34pm: “In my car rockin Amon Amarth waitin on my gay rockstar friends..”
A Viking metal band? Don’t tease me, Kira. Are you really this interesting or are you filtering your tweets? Hmmm.
April 26th, 6:59pm: “I hate seeing children with mullets. Its the parents doing. Poor things.”
Kira, hockey fans have kids, that’s a fact. They have as much of a right to be outside as you.
April 27th, 1:40am: “It is pouring outside. It is lovely. I need to run across the st and get my sheets from my sisters..but shit. Perhaps I’ll bring a trashbag.”
What? No pics?! You need pics, Kira. Wet, running pics. And, oh yeah, a trashbag would be a good idea for the sheets.
April 27th, 2:31am: “New ladylucie photos up!”
Ah, so that’s where you get all those crazy Victorian era clothes that take several hours to unclasp. Remember bros, women that like corsets have a high tolerance for pain. Nice pic, by the way.
April 27th, 12:21pm: “At the Dr with my sis. She’s starting to feel bad again.”
Bummer. That’s probably from sleeping in those wet sheets.
22 hours ago: “Eatin dindin with @edibledarling.”
And you got cute friends. There’s just no down side to you, Kira.
21 hours ago: “I names my new black nano ipod TheBatCave. :)”
Look out, Kira, I think your cat got a hold of your Twitter.
about 19 hours ago: “Mars Attacks is on. Righteous.”
Ah, ha! A chink in the armor! Mars Attacks isn’t that good of a movie! Well, it is fun to watch. Jack Nicholson is pretty funny and plays two parts. I mean, it doesn’ t make any sense, but what could you expect from a movie based on a trading card set? Okay, I’ll give you that one. Dammit.
18 hours ago: “Time to wash my mermaid hair.”
Yeah, because mermaids really need to do that.
6 hours ago: “Jesus. Not enough time in the day for anything.”
Jesus uses Twitter? Man, everyone’s on this thing.
6 hours ago: “I just talked to Westmore Makeup Academy! I am doin a tour on the 6th. I CAN’T WAIT!”
You are very girly, Kira. And that’s a good thing.
4 hours ago: “My hair rules! Green Queen Supreme!!”
Well, you had to know that a stripper was pretty into herself. At least she went two pages of Twitter without talking about herself. I don’t think she’s abnormally self-absorbed, for a model anyways.
3 hours: “I fucking hate bank of america. Cunts.”
I think all banks are pretty much cunts. I mean, unless the bank gives you extra money for no reason. That was Bank of the Giveaway, but they went out a business in a week.
3 hours: “Layin in bed, shuttin off the world w/ my BatCave.”
Good night, Kira. May your hair always stay green and your tattoos be exposed for all to see.
Okay, for Kira Von Sutra I give a 5 for Insanity (You have to be a little nuts to strip, but it’s only burlesque, probably the smart choice. Requires more talent.) Gotta give her a 9 for Style (she is very stylish) and finally a 7 for Mustness (could use some more pictures, but she is pretty dreamy). That gives Kira an overall total of 7. Thanks for playing cutie! And if you have a suggestion for Twitter in Focus, email us!
